With my hubby applying for jobs in the Foreign Service, we might wind up living abroad (again) one day in the nearish future, maybe in two years or so. I wouldn't mind living abroad again. My only worry is having the planned three very young kids at once and being all alone in a foreign country. He said we could get an au pair if that would help, but I seriously can't imagine it.
I have no issue with other people having an au pair and even envy many of them, but the simple fact is I'm too jealous of a person to be able to handle that idea. It's true, I'm too insecure I guess or too needy or whatever. But as a mom it literally made my skin crawl to work from home and listen to my nanny playing with my newborn daughter downstairs. My daughter loved her and she loved my daughter, but I could hardly stand the pangs to my insides.
I figure there has to be a name for this motherly heart-wrench feeling, but I can't find one, so I propose the name Jealomy--jealous + mommy.
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